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catsidhe"Straight talking" "doctor" says "I never met Heath Ledger, but I've heard of him and talked to people who've heard of him, and it is my professional opinion that he was a FILTHY DRUG ADDICT!!1! Come to my clinics and give me lots of money."
"I mean, yeah," he continued, "sure, I know nothing about his personal circumstances or what stress he might have been under, or what medical advice he had been given, but I talk to FILTHY DRUG ADDICTS every day, and he had all the characteristics of a FILTHY DRUG ADDICT. Watch me on TV and come to my clinics and give me lots of money."
"Ben Cousins," he said further while sipping a nice scotch and wondering vaguely if he could get a cigarette, "is also a FILTHY DRUG ADDICT, and despite my knowing nothing about him or the sport he plays or even the country he comes from, I think he should be put into one of my clinics, or failing that one which is almost identical to one of my clinics, because I AM THE GOD OF CURING DRUG ADDICTION AND ONLY MY WAY OF DOING IT WILL WORK, AND I CAN TELL IF PEOPLE ARE DRUG ADDICTS TELEPATHICALLY BECAUSE I'M SO DAMN GOOD AT CURING DRUG ADDICTION!. See me on Dancing with the Stars, come to my clinics and give me lots of money!"
"I mean, yeah," he continued, "sure, I know nothing about his personal circumstances or what stress he might have been under, or what medical advice he had been given, but I talk to FILTHY DRUG ADDICTS every day, and he had all the characteristics of a FILTHY DRUG ADDICT. Watch me on TV and come to my clinics and give me lots of money."
"Ben Cousins," he said further while sipping a nice scotch and wondering vaguely if he could get a cigarette, "is also a FILTHY DRUG ADDICT, and despite my knowing nothing about him or the sport he plays or even the country he comes from, I think he should be put into one of my clinics, or failing that one which is almost identical to one of my clinics, because I AM THE GOD OF CURING DRUG ADDICTION AND ONLY MY WAY OF DOING IT WILL WORK, AND I CAN TELL IF PEOPLE ARE DRUG ADDICTS TELEPATHICALLY BECAUSE I'M SO DAMN GOOD AT CURING DRUG ADDICTION!. See me on Dancing with the Stars, come to my clinics and give me lots of money!"
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Ah, but these doctors are so clever...
Date: 2008-07-23 02:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-24 03:05 am (UTC)And that bit on Celebrity Big Brother where he snogged Karl Stefanovic, even though he was clearly sleeping with David Koch at the time, I mean (indignant snort)!
No, hang on, this was all a strange nightmare. It never happened...