In todays news...

In a shock statement, Alexander Downer has announced that Kevin Rudd is a politician. He continued, claiming that John Howard, by contrast, is not a politician. [No, really, read the link. I kid you not. — Ed.]

Further revelations that China is not a democracy, Russians don't—as a rule—speak Zulu, and that the Sun has been observed to rise in the East are expected to follow.