(no subject)
Jul. 13th, 2020 01:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catsidheMiss S answers the phone.
"Yes? Hello? I... OK. Um. I'll put you on to my father."
"Hello?" I say.
"Yes hello sir," says a heavily accented Indian woman. "I am Irene and I am calling from the NBN."
"Oh. OK," I say, thinking Oh no you're not. "What is wrong with the NBN?"
"Well, I am not calling you about the NBN, but about the internet, sir, because, you see, we have been detecting errors from your computer for several weeks now about the internet. You see, there are dangerous files which are being downloaded from the internet to your computer without your permission."
"Oh dear," I reply. "That sounds horrible."
"Yes, so you are listed as a basic computer user, and I will be needing you to be in front of your computer right now, is that possible?"
"Yes, of course."
"Are you in front of your computer now?"
"Yes."
"I will need you to follow my instructions, OK?"
"Certainly. I'm sitting at my computer, which has a VPN to my work at the University of Melbourne where I'm a Unix System Administrator. I've got a Bash terminal open... which port did you say those files were coming in on?"
"... oh. ...Um. OK. Um. Goodb—" »click«
And I laughed so hard I think I broke something.
"Yes? Hello? I... OK. Um. I'll put you on to my father."
"Hello?" I say.
"Yes hello sir," says a heavily accented Indian woman. "I am Irene and I am calling from the NBN."
"Oh. OK," I say, thinking Oh no you're not. "What is wrong with the NBN?"
"Well, I am not calling you about the NBN, but about the internet, sir, because, you see, we have been detecting errors from your computer for several weeks now about the internet. You see, there are dangerous files which are being downloaded from the internet to your computer without your permission."
"Oh dear," I reply. "That sounds horrible."
"Yes, so you are listed as a basic computer user, and I will be needing you to be in front of your computer right now, is that possible?"
"Yes, of course."
"Are you in front of your computer now?"
"Yes."
"I will need you to follow my instructions, OK?"
"Certainly. I'm sitting at my computer, which has a VPN to my work at the University of Melbourne where I'm a Unix System Administrator. I've got a Bash terminal open... which port did you say those files were coming in on?"
"... oh. ...Um. OK. Um. Goodb—" »click«
And I laughed so hard I think I broke something.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-07-13 03:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-07-13 10:10 am (UTC)Nowhere near as satisfying.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-07-15 01:30 am (UTC)