What do we know about our beloved government?
Well, we know that they don't like people
with them. A lot. It's almost like they think that such people should either not exist, or never say anything, because the government is always right, and no-one who disagrees with them can ever, therefore, have anything useful to say. Of course, the ABC is by definition a hotbed of Stalinists and Anarcho-Syndicalists, each and every one frothing for the chance to campaign for the Labor Party. You know, people like Pru Goward
and Gary Hardgrave
. We know, of course, a priori
that Senator Fierravanti-Wells
is a balanced, rational human being, free of barrows to push.
We know that they think that money
is more than sufficient compensation in return for total abnegation of sovereignty
. In fact, they react with shock and dismay when people say that the government can keep its money, they would rather die poor and thirsty than hand over, hastily, all power and ownership, now and forever. It should be noted that in each case the ungrateful bastards have actually said that they're not rejecting the idea per se
, but that they have, despite the urgings of the Feds, actually considered the terms of the deal, and have found them laughable. If only they had just done what the Federal Government had told them, NOW, NOW, NOW DON'T THINK, JUST SIGN! SIGH HERE! SIGN NOW! WOLVES! WOLVES ARE ATTACKING!! SIGN!!!1!
We know that if you're not talking about exactly the same solution as we are
, then you are exacerbating the problem
. Only the government has the solution. Any deviation will make things worse, so much worse. Why, advocating ‘Harm Minimisation’ is tantamount to personally injecting babies with dirty heroin! Moreover, allowing two people with similar genitals to call themselves ‘married’ is one short step from fucking cattle in the streets and raping small children.
We know that, as the government is by definition right, that whatever
is spent on advertising is only ever
important information. Anything, everything, put out by the ACTU or Labor party, on the other hand, are either in agreement with Liberal party diktat, in which case they are superfluous, or they disagree, in which case they are
blatant lying propaganda.
We know that thanks to eleven years of being the Avatars of 51%, that Howard and the Liberal party have long since identified themselves with everything Good and Proper and Right — they must be, because 51% of Australians after preferences think so. If it turns out that the magical number is now below 50% — well
below — then there is a problem. The problem, however, can't be with them
, because they're always right
, remember? It must be someone else's fault. Like Labor and the ACTU; their nasty, vicious, slanderous, lying propaganda is twisting the poor innocent minds of the trusting voting public. Or those stupid greenies, scaring people, terrifying
them with unfounded paranoid rantings, which must be countered, for fairness, for balance, for human dignity
demonstrated propaganda considered counterarguments
. And the important
people, those whose reasoned and articulate opinions actually matter
, agree whole-heartedly
. So that's alright.
Or else, the problem is the population itself. If the Liberal Party is so obviously right, then not voting for them, not supporting everything they do unreservedly and reflexively, is ipso facto
symptoms of unreason, of hysteria, of the public being so STUPID
as to turn away from the Light of Truth and Justice. It's everyone else's fault!!1!
It could never be that people are sick of Big Strict Father in Canberra telling everyone that they're wrong ... except for big businesses and millionaires, of course.
It could never be that people are finally realising that their McMansion's mortgage is going up anyway
, and while Howard was pretending to be your friend when it was going well, he's fucked if he's going to help you up
when it all goes pear-shaped.
It could never be that people have realised that, holy shit, the climate is changing, and we have to do something (Just because people have been saying that for thirty years or more — there was an entire episode of Carl Sagan's Cosmos
dedicated to the concept for Goddess' sake!), but Howard has put a millionaire in charge of the Environment, and his biggest action to date is to claim complete sovereignty over a good third of the nation directly, in return for thirty sheckels of silver, which will have their destination dictated in any case.
It could never be that even the rusted-on Useful Idiots (who over-represent themselves in Andrew Bolt's blog and Talkback Radio everywhere) are wondering when Howard is going to retire, and having a good hard look at the choice of succession. And not liking it.
It could never be that people have finally realised what some have been saying all along, that the Invasion of Iraq was a mind-bogglingly stoopid waste of time and money and lives, while the guy who actually
is responsible for 9-11 is still running around out there. That invading a country is a big, horrible, messy, sticky tarbaby, and that while Saddam Hussein was a really, really bad man, and his sons worse, the Invasion and its aftermath has been so, so, so much worse
No, it must be the population's fault. For believing Labor. For listening to Scientists. For talking to their accountants. For watching the news. For looking around them. For thinking
For not drinking the Kool-Aid, like they have for the last eleven years.
Now if only the rest of us had a real hope of anything changing as a result.