Small children (pre-school age) do not reason as older children or adults do. Neither do people under psychosis. But they are also different in their differences.
Agreed. And for the record, I have my degree in Psychology, and although I'm not personally a parent, I have worked with children from birth thru 18+ off and on my whole life. So I'm quite aware of the Devlop-Mental Stages kids go thru. Piaget & Erickson are but 2 examples...
...A child may be devastated by a telling-off at one point, then think it a wonderful game the next... She will start deliberately running onto the road to get a reaction. The second time she does it, she gets told off, more forcefully. This may well just be seen as escalation of the game, though. She tries it again, she gets retrieved and given one short smack on the well-covered bottom. It doesn't hurt, but it does shock. Now it is not a game. Now she knows that running on to the road is not a game, that it is bad.
I understand this. If she doesn't get it, then you definitely need to change tactics until you get the desired response. I still maintain that there are other ways to do this that don't involve striking a child, which demeans both their personal integrity & dignity. I don't have an "absolute answer", because--just like working at the Psych Ward--every kid is different, as is every situation. I continue to maintain that striking a child should NEVER been seen as a "Tool" for which anyone should reach, should they need to change tactics.
Am I making sense?
Yes, and I appreciate your well-thought out reply. I won't pretend to have all the answers. I do, however, feel quite confident that alternative solutions can be found by a parent who is persistent and dedicated to finding alternatives to corporeal punishment. It should be noted that, although I am not a parent personally (and we've touched on many of those reasons in this long, drama-filled topic), I do have many friends who are and who also hold similar beliefs as I.
I do think it possible to raise a child without striking them--it's just neither the "easiest", nor the "default" way that most of us are accustomed to, which was one of samm's many points that I also agree with.
Re: the former Psych worker, here
Agreed. And for the record, I have my degree in Psychology, and although I'm not personally a parent, I have worked with children from birth thru 18+ off and on my whole life. So I'm quite aware of the Devlop-Mental Stages kids go thru. Piaget & Erickson are but 2 examples...
...A child may be devastated by a telling-off at one point, then think it a wonderful game the next... She will start deliberately running onto the road to get a reaction. The second time she does it, she gets told off, more forcefully. This may well just be seen as escalation of the game, though. She tries it again, she gets retrieved and given one short smack on the well-covered bottom. It doesn't hurt, but it does shock. Now it is not a game. Now she knows that running on to the road is not a game, that it is bad.
I understand this. If she doesn't get it, then you definitely need to change tactics until you get the desired response. I still maintain that there are other ways to do this that don't involve striking a child, which demeans both their personal integrity & dignity. I don't have an "absolute answer", because--just like working at the Psych Ward--every kid is different, as is every situation. I continue to maintain that striking a child should NEVER been seen as a "Tool" for which anyone should reach, should they need to change tactics.
Am I making sense?
Yes, and I appreciate your well-thought out reply. I won't pretend to have all the answers. I do, however, feel quite confident that alternative solutions can be found by a parent who is persistent and dedicated to finding alternatives to corporeal punishment. It should be noted that, although I am not a parent personally (and we've touched on many of those reasons in this long, drama-filled topic), I do have many friends who are and who also hold similar beliefs as I.
I do think it possible to raise a child without striking them--it's just neither the "easiest", nor the "default" way that most of us are accustomed to, which was one of samm's many points that I also agree with.
Agape!