Then "flow" is a programmers word for what writers I know, like Alecto23 and zombine-monkey, called the "writer's high". Musicians get it too. So do fighters. You become what you are doing. It's utterly intoxicating. Better than being in love, I think. Better or just about as good as the best sex- and you can have it in sex too, now I think about it. but being in love is closer. But like infatuation, I think that it's not always a reliable feeling, or a test of the worth of your work. I last got it in January this year- I was writing about flying. And I seriously flew. For about two weeks, whether I was writing or not, I was in the story. Yes, it takes time and immersion, and it's disorienting to be yanked out of it. But it seems to partially be a product of your "engine running hot", so setting out looking for it won't work. And while work produced in that state feels blessed, if you look for the state before you look for the process and the work, then you'll never feel it. Also, the real work of making something, as you know, is the spade work. Not the euphoria. Negotiating the euphoria of the writer's high, the way that the world was over-laid with alternate worlds, stories and meaning, how all I "really " wanted to do was write, while working, having a partner, trying to have a life- it was jarring and weird, but good. But it also went away. Engines need to cool down, and i got distracted by weddings and stuff. The disorientation is a price that I'm willing to pay for the sake of feeling that good in the first place. However, I'm not worried that I'll never feel it again. I think that's one thing this year has taught me. Flow is the by-product of the work, not the work itself. The place in my mind where the stories live not only churns away, but when the insights come, these days I try to get them down in notes at least for later. That invites more to come. And then when I have time, i sit down and string them together, and suddenly I'm writing. And flying, without even worrying about how I've done it. I have little doubt that if you keep inviting your ideas by jotting them or sketching them down, no matter how silly they may seem to you at the time, sooner or later you'll find the "flow". You know how it feels already.
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Re: On Flow
Date: 2006-08-24 12:52 pm (UTC)I last got it in January this year- I was writing about flying. And I seriously flew. For about two weeks, whether I was writing or not, I was in the story. Yes, it takes time and immersion, and it's disorienting to be yanked out of it. But it seems to partially be a product of your "engine running hot", so setting out looking for it won't work. And while work produced in that state feels blessed, if you look for the state before you look for the process and the work, then you'll never feel it. Also, the real work of making something, as you know, is the spade work. Not the euphoria.
Negotiating the euphoria of the writer's high, the way that the world was over-laid with alternate worlds, stories and meaning, how all I "really " wanted to do was write, while working, having a partner, trying to have a life- it was jarring and weird, but good. But it also went away. Engines need to cool down, and i got distracted by weddings and stuff. The disorientation is a price that I'm willing to pay for the sake of feeling that good in the first place.
However, I'm not worried that I'll never feel it again. I think that's one thing this year has taught me. Flow is the by-product of the work, not the work itself. The place in my mind where the stories live not only churns away, but when the insights come, these days I try to get them down in notes at least for later. That invites more to come. And then when I have time, i sit down and string them together, and suddenly I'm writing. And flying, without even worrying about how I've done it.
I have little doubt that if you keep inviting your ideas by jotting them or sketching them down, no matter how silly they may seem to you at the time, sooner or later you'll find the "flow". You know how it feels already.