I agree wholeheartedly with all this. I am doing it over the move to Sydney. I told mum today - at least that I was going up there to look for work for a few days in the next two weeks. She was not a happy camper.
It was really hard to get out of the thought pattern and move into action. It took some heavy prodding of people in Sydney via Steve to make me realise I was stuck in my head, without realising.
Surprisingly something mum said today summed up why I need to do it - she said it as a means of why NOT to go yet - that was that I have not worked enough, and last year when the trouble started at the College I should have just acted, and quit when the depression started, instead of trying to cope and making it (and the job) worse. She was right about that, and commented that every other time I have suffered from the Dog on my back I have established the trigger, eliminated it, and bounced back. That I am resilient. This time I did not. She talked about how I needed to think of myself differently, and oddly enough, this is why I am going - becuase for some reason, in Sydney, I DO. I see myself in the context of my surroundings, and tho I do have supportive friends in Melbourne, for some reason its not the right place.
I should have listened to that and remembered that before I let my insecurities chase me back here.
So without meaning to, she cemented why it was important for me to do this.
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Date: 2006-05-04 04:27 am (UTC)It was really hard to get out of the thought pattern and move into action. It took some heavy prodding of people in Sydney via Steve to make me realise I was stuck in my head, without realising.
Surprisingly something mum said today summed up why I need to do it - she said it as a means of why NOT to go yet - that was that I have not worked enough, and last year when the trouble started at the College I should have just acted, and quit when the depression started, instead of trying to cope and making it (and the job) worse. She was right about that, and commented that every other time I have suffered from the Dog on my back I have established the trigger, eliminated it, and bounced back. That I am resilient. This time I did not. She talked about how I needed to think of myself differently, and oddly enough, this is why I am going - becuase for some reason, in Sydney, I DO. I see myself in the context of my surroundings, and tho I do have supportive friends in Melbourne, for some reason its not the right place.
I should have listened to that and remembered that before I let my insecurities chase me back here.
So without meaning to, she cemented why it was important for me to do this.